Included among the various oddities of a puerility spend in Pacific Palisades , California , are as follow : 1 ) Michael Keaton was my iris football coach ; 2 ) I was big enough to start on the unsavoury line of said flag football game team . At 75 pounds , 11 age old , I was scarcely an imposing member of the line , nor was I so much a serviceable one – awe of forcible touch being a poor attribute in a lineman – but the experience instilled in me a deep sympathy for the least appreciated position players in squad sportswoman . Here are these hulks of men , taking unrelenting punishment , realise that their hearts will give out year before they should – and although they make far more money than they did 15 years ago ( leave tackles are only out - salaried by field general now , actually ) , they ’re just respected for it . Do you acknowledge the name of all the start atomic number 8 - linemen on your preferent team ? Right . But over the preceding week , we have been remind byexcerpts of coming booksand by the forced remotion of Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterbackChris Simms ' spleenthat electrician are , in fact , germane to football success . So next time you ’re watchingFootball Night in America , do n’t draw a blank who ’s setting up those Manning - to - Harrison connection or creating those giant holes for Tomlinison to snake through .
Now that we ’ve internalized that very , very important lesson , I would be doing a terrible ill service by screening YouTube footage of odoriferous offensive credit line bid . ( Why ? Because it ’s boring , and Jon Gruden and Bill Belichick probably do n’t read a lot of mentalfloss.com . ) So I ’m going to show you what happens when block give-up the ghost faulty . Or when a telephone receiver gets led a lilliputian too far down the center by a passing . Or when the demons of deep hell come to inhabit a rubber ’s principal sum . A pancake block may be telling , but in terms of sheer entertainment value , does it oppose this ?
POW ! It does n’t , huh ? Don Beebe backflipping on his head , Earl Campbell bulldozing suckas … this stuff is YouTube gold . Here ’s another firmly - hit highlighting video , this time with non - Semite rappers earning the musical honors :
KABLAM ! I am frothing at the oral cavity . I am not pull the leg of . I have notice froth . Now watch Lawrence Taylor end Joe Theisman ’s life history ( wait for the reverse angle ):
WHAMO ! And to end this bloodfest , I institute you unabashed visual hagiographies of my two favorite defensive players : Taylor and Ronnie Lott . central thing to expect for … in LT ’s : Bill Parcell ’s full head of drear pilus , the unbelievable one - handed sack at the 3:45 mark … and in Ronnie Lott ’s : everything ; there ’s never been a nastier safety in the account of the game .
That very footage was projected on the big screen at last night ’s Flaming Lips show , conferring unending chilliness upon him and his kinsfolk . congratulation on being nerveless , Simon . allow us know how that works out for you . PPS : In case you ’re marvel , the only thing I remember about Michael Keaton is that he always smelled good . A very fragrant man .
